Trinity Dejavu

You did nothing wrong, but there was nothing right that we could do, and I couldn’t let my heart be torn open again. I broke the cycle and for ripping your world apart in the process I am mortified. I wish .. so many things.

Hate me if you need to, look forward now because you can, because I’m not holding you back, because you have to.

I will always care, and always worry, and always dream that one day you can forgive me. I’m crying, and when I think of you, I always will.

After a long and tortuous trip I’m now back in England in one piece … well, physically anyway.

I’ve left heart and my home in Olympia. I miss Miya and Sarah so much, I’m trying to put a strong face on things but inside I’m screaming. I’ve not been able to get more than a few hours sleep at any time, if I don’t cry myself to sleep I wake racked with grief. I keep expecting to see them just walk in or when I look up from my laptop, and when I don’t it breaks my heart.

I don’t know how long I have to live in exile, I don’t know when I will see them again and its killing me.

Following my encounter with Garcia when I first landed in the US, I was worried he had put stuff in my file that would make future trips much harder than they should be. On the way back my fears were realised. My checked luggage was searched at every airport in the US I passed through, seems the TSA have me on their lists. I’m terrified I will try to go back to the US and find I’ve been red flagged, get taken for an interview only to be turned away and flown home. All because I’m trans and Garcia doesn’t like trans.

Being back in the village I grew up isn’t comfortable for me. Went out to the pub for a meal to celebrate my Dad’s birthday,feeling shattered and jet lagged I decided to walk home before everyone else. Big mistake. Walking the familiar streets home I felt more afraid for my own safety than I have in many years, more terrified than I have ever been at any time during my transition.

When I was a teenager I was beaten frequently for having long hair and looking girly, several times it happened as little as 50 metres from my front door. I remember being so scared that I wouldn’t leave the house on foot, and walking home has brought all those memories flooding back.

I know most of the people responsible will have moved on years ago, I know I shouldn’t be as afraid as I am, but I don’t feel safe here out alone. Don’t think I ever will.

We’re in desperate need of any help and advice, if anyone knows of similar cases can you please get in touch (trinity.deja at googlemail.com), via Trinity Dejavu in Secondlife or trinity0002d on YIM.

I’m a uk cit, pre-op male to female transexual, I have had no surgery at this point and have been living full time for the last 2 years.

I changed my name and title in the UK 2 years ago by deed poll then when applied for a passport the UK office asked for a letter concerning my op status. My GP wrote me a letter saying “to the best of my knowledge, this person intends to transition fully” this got me a F gender marker on my passport.

My birth certificate stills says M.

I wish to marry my US born female partner and immigrate to live together in the US.

Can we do this? (as im still M everywhere except passprt)

Will I be treated as M or F for marriage and immigration purposes? Will I be seen as M for one and F for the other?

I really need all the help I can get on this, were tearing our hair out not knowing if we can stay together. We dont want to live in the UK (even though that would be simpler).

Update : To Rachel who commented below, Please get in touch – We really need to talk to the people involved as there case could really help us.

rachel
July 20th, 2008 01:11 e

long story short, according to my friend Nikki who did the same. You’re still federally considered male as your birth cert says so. You can legally marry her due to the above. Nikki did the same.

Likewise, we need contact information for people with similar cases, this would be an amazing help!

It looks like someone came and emptied the nest. No trace of chick, eggs, feathers, nothing.

:(