200th TG Lounge Member!
The TG Lounge group is now 200 members strong, its awesome to see the group growing and going from strength to strength! Many thanks to everyone who has helped us make the lounge the huge success it is! Of course that's the perfect excuse for a party - stay tuned :)
The TG Lounge and the TRC have been working very hard to bury the old conflicts and allow both groups to move forward in their distinctly separate missions, huge hugs go out to Jani who's dedication and diplomacy have made this possible.
Finally, I would like to thank Ashley Lynch from the bottom of my heart. She came by the TG Lounge the other night to apologise to every one for the upset her blog post caused, I know that this will go a long way to repair hurt feelings between the TG Lounge and the TRC. I am proud to call her my friend. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise for my share of the anguish the TG community have suffered during the split, and to thanks everyone who has worked so very hard to build bridges.
Party Pictures!
Following on from the Transgender Lounge Launch party and last nights JRock session, here are some high rez snaps of the fun on flickr. Thanks to our wonderful team, the DJ's and of course the members who make this organisation what it is. Very nice to see Jani Myriam and a few other members of the TRC at the last party, things are finally looking up between the two groups *hugs all*
Were always looking for talented DJ's and live artists, so give me a shout in world if you're interested.
Bigotry at the heart of the Transgender Community in SecondLife
Many people have asked why I split from the TRC (Trasgender Resource Centre) and started my own trangender support venue in SecondLife. I have been accused of a lot of things, my friends have been harassed and plenty of rumors about me, my lifestyle and my loved ones have caused no end of hurt and pain.
I will just let Ashley Lynch's own words vindicate my position. This is pulled straight from her own blog. Ashley Lynch is the co-director of the TRC and as such, her views on the transgendered community in SecondLife are of vital importance to the community that organisation claims to represent.
There is a real tendency, especially in the online community, but as a whole for transgendered people to use their gender identity and status as a discriminated class as a crutch to elevate their other issues. Many trans people find themselves latched onto some very strange fantasy ideas and fetish communities in their effort to explore their identity. The end result is people who will defend their “hobbies” to the death as a core part of who they are and demand mass social acceptance for them.
People being led around on leashes in public with their hands bound and saying “Yes Mistress” constantly who assert that to tell them to not be submissive is like telling them not to be trans. People who claim to be infantile preteen children and will debate until the end of time how it is a legitimate identity that must be accepted just like their gender identity. (I’m not kidding.) And no, you are not supposed to be a child in an adult body. That’s a mental issue you need to be seeking therapy for, it is not an identity. You were a child once, but it’s over now, let it go! And while we’re on the topic, let’s talk about furries. You were not meant to be born as a humanoid half fox, half cat. No one has the genetic makeup for interspecies DNA. Your mother was human, your father was human. You’re human! Even if your dad fucked a horse, it would still never result in a furry. Being furry is not an identity that you need to fight for to have social acceptance. You know why? Cause it’s a fetish, plain and simple. Sexual or no, it’s a fetish.
The even greater damage that gets done here is that transgenderism already gets viewed way too much as something sexual or fetishistic. Having BDSM neko trans girls hanging around only help to perpetuate that stereotype and work against creating a proactive atmosphere for trans people everywhere. Some of us are trying to reverse negative stereotypes and get laws and rights passed for all of us to make the world a better place for all transgendered people.
So just because you’re adamant that all these messed up hobbies of yours (and I’m not judging, I have my own messed up hobbies) are an intrinsic part of your identity, every bit as much as your gender really doesn’t make it so. To be painfully blunt (and why stop now), this is merely a roleplaying fantasy that you’ve taken to extreme levels and tried to secure a thinly built connection in attempts to bootstrap it into legitimacy. ie. You are delusional and either need a reality check or a councilor. I know I’m being extremely judgmental and it’s okay. People who indulge in this sort of activity need a slap in the face to get some perspective. I’m not saying don’t have your messed up hobbies. I’m sure it’s fun. But don’t expect me or the rest of society to accept you as anything other than a comical farce if you try and take those hobbies into public. There’s a time and a place.
You can read her full post in its original context here.
The Transgender Lounge's founding principle is "Supporting gender diversity through tolerance" and its very obvious from the statement above why such an organisation is so desperatly needed in SecondLife.
The Transgender Lounge is located next door to the TRC and EVERYONE will always be welcome.
Abandon Hope All Who Enter Here
As anticipated, the TRC have added a scary forest between TGL and themselves. Can't help thinking it is an improvement, although why they couldn't stretch to some nice sculpted trees is beyond me (like those sold at Botanical - mmmmm sexy). Of course, this is to hide the TG Lounge sign I put up over they hole in the wall they have graciously left open.
Ash and Jani are now camping the TRC 24/7 wth floating titles saying AFK to help bump the trafic numbers, not exacty the "mature volunteer lead support" visitors might be expecting. At least we have the decency to turn our computers off when we go to bed, save the planet and all that.
Oh, and if TRC admin members would kindly stop messaging my friends to talk about me. I am here, I'm online, and perfectly capable of talking for myself.
In some fantastic news for the TGL, yesterday we passed the 50 group members milestone. Its a very very quiet group at the moment and will be used to annouce future events. If you want to join search for the group "Transgender Lounge".
Plumbing the Depths
Seems the TRC have finally done what we guessed they would do right at the start, move the TRC building as far away from the TG Lounge as possible. All thats left now is for the hole in the wall to close and a lot of tree's to appear and we're about sorted! You can't help wondering if we smell...
Following from an extremly rude IM message from Jani who essentially accuses the TG lounge of undermining the reputation of the TRC and all he other evils in the world I just have to respond here. Sorry, but you're managing that all by yourself. There is a reason the traffic rating for the TRC is 1979 and the TG Lounge is at 5260, leave you to ponder what it might be. Stop complaining about the TG Lounge, either raise your game and compete or shut up and go away.
In TG Lounge news, the membership is growing strong and we're looking forward to starting regular events. The more serious side of TG support is in progress and we hope to have plenty of actual rescources (RL and SL) to offer in the very near future. We are very very pleased to have been approved a safe place for Child AV's!
Finally, in a moments childish behavour from one of our child memebers (what would you expect!) Lilly Noodle has been banned from the TRC for throwing toilet paper on their lawn. Simply Awesome.
Hello Transgender Lounge! (TGL)
After a busy week of building, deleting and building again, the Transgender Lounge is starting to take shape.
There seemed to be a little shock and disbelief from some that I would build my own support organisation right next door to the TRC. Two groups couldn't possibly work side by side!
Well, the reason is quite simple. Like several of the other TRC members and admin, I wanted my home in SL to be close to the organisation I devoted so much time and effort to. When I left the TRC, I needed somewhere to create the TGL and by happy chance I had a lot of land that I had spent well over the market rate to acquire.
We're not interested in petty bickering and squabling with the TRC admin.
We have a pink tank and a sense of humor. CHOOOOM!!!
*giggles*
Pathetic Petty Behavour
The TRC have just ejected long time admin Kara Spengler because she wouldn't choose sides. Kara often spoke up in defence of the minority groups the TRC tended to overlook.
The adminstration ejected her from the groups by secret ballot, the reason?
- Official : She brought a child AV to the TRC.
- Unofficial : She wouldn't choose sides between the TRC and the new Transgender Lounge (TGL).
Child avatars are allowed in Second Life, and as long as you're not taking part in an indecent act, its just fine. Linden Lab makes the rules concerning what is acceptable and what isn't. Until Linden Lab changes the rules, child avatars will continue to be allowed at the Transgender Lounge (TGL).
In any event, normal admin behavour at the TRC was to ask people to change into a adult form or leave, this is not, and has never been a banning offence.
This is exactly the kind of backstabbing bullshit groupthink that I've come to expect from the TRC admin. I had hoped the TGL and TRC would coexist side by side but with every day that passes that just seems like unrealistic dreaming.
Goodbye TRC
I've been a proud and active staff member of the Transgender Resource Centre in SecondLife almost since its inception, billed as an open meeting place for transgender individuals to meet, provide mutual support and find friendships. Or at least that's the organisation I loved and devoted almost every minute of my time in SecondLife to.
Being a part of the community that formed around the TRC was wonderful. I have met so many people, some are now firm friends, one has moved half way round the world to be with me. Talking to people and knowing you have made a difference, meeting people from the next town to the other side of the globe with the same hopes and dreams made life a little less lonely. For a long time it has been a major part of my SecondLife and breaks my heart that I have to draw that chapter to a close.
The TRC has undergone a sort of transition of its own, from nervous first steps to its current incarnation. What started as an open welcoming friendly meeting place has slowly changed into a small clique, that in many ways has become as bigoted as the people we battle against in our real lives for simply being transgender. If you don't fit the mold, we can't help you, we will make you uncomfortable, we will make sure you never come back.
For me, the goal of the TRC was to support the transgendered and not judge people based upon there expression of self or upon the communities in which they found a home. It's now that I feel alone in this position that the TRC is no longer an organisation I can be a part of.
The TRC has a cancer eating away at its very core, and they meet every sunday in private.
There are more people at admin meetings than the actual TRC. A culture of political whispering has emerged. Real life romantic entanglements past and present ensure that policy is determined by personal attitudes and loyalties. Topics of discussion involve excluding a named individual that for no fault of her own has a RL disability that some find annoying. When really we should be working harder to provide more support, we're working ever harder to exclude.
Making sure the TRC has a shiny middle of the road image is more important than the very people we're here to support.
The first thing anyone told me about SecondLife is that every aspect of the human experience is represented somewhere, and thats been proven to me over and over. A huge tangled melting pot of cultures within cultures, where every lifestyle both fantasy and real exist in an uneasy harmony.
A support centre for the transgendered needs to span cultures, philosophies and lifestyles.
I'm going to build one that does. Where the only rule will be tolerance. Where mutual support is the first and only goal.